Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's blow job season.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
