Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
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that's nothin. you'd really have to question your life choices if you were scrubbin cum stains off AFTER they left.
You mean choices like "why didn't I/she swallow?"
because the other times are filled with making those stains perhaps?
Family always does that to you...it's like your mind regresses back to elementary/middle school when you waited for an empty house to whack off in instead of just locking your door and being really really quiet.
just flip the mattress
Because the rest of the time you're being a nasty whore
stop letting girls dressed like cheetahs sleep on your futon.