Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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