The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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This is like the 10th TFLN I've read that is stolen straight from Tucker Max stories.
SHOULD HAVE been? Why wasn't it??
The IT Crowd did something very similar to this text. Just sayin.
Licking banana-flavored assholes can certainly lead to shit in one's hair.
How about working in a nursing home?
Having an ichy head while wiping.
There is a lot of math that can explain it. Unfortunately, i am bad at math so i can't help ya.