Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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