Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
