Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
