I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
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I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My dick has a subreddit
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