hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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