I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize