hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
