They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize