can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
