Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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