Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
