I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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