I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
