i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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