I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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