You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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