She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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