Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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