I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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