I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
