I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
