Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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