How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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