I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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