he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
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Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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