whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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