thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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