Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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