BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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