Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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