i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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