Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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