k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The air taste purple.
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