I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
