her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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