no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
