just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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