this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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