i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
