She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
