Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
