its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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