I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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