I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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The way it should be. XD
Never a finer rule.
Sleep on the Tempur-pedic, bang on the trampoline
Makes for a nasty couch.
You need a smash room
Any objections will be decided by a 3/4's vote.
So basically the centerpiece of you all's living room is going to be a couch covered in dried, crusty jizz and vaginal discharge stains? Does not sound like as much of a turn-on as you're trying to make it out. Hell, no one's gonna even want to have sex on that bio hazard...