why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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