I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize