I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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