i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
