sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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