yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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