She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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