HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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