Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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