oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
