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• (714): View more from California

  so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.

  (1-714): View more from California

  yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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• (+81): View more from

  And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.

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