absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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