I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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