i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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