my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize