3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We had sex on a dog bed..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
