There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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