I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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