she takes plan B like it's going out of style
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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