He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
