I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize